9 Marriage Tips from 9 years

Recently my man and I celebrated being married 9 years.9 marriage tips

I know if you are doing the math- you can probably figure out that we got married young. That’s another story though. Sometime I’ll post the Top Ten Reasons why we married young.

We celebrated our 9 years by riding roller coasters and acting like we were still young, cool, and hip.


We made the quick trip up to Branson, MO which is only 3 hours from us. We enjoyed a couple of days of no phones, computers, internet, kids, to-dos, etc…. It was just us taking a deep breath from life and taking the time to enjoy each other and make it a priority to celebrate us and invest in each other.

9 year watermard


But as we were on our way home from our trip we started talking about some of our favorite parts of being married and how different our marriage looked from our first year. So we came up with this little list of 9 Tips from 9 years.

It is just our personal list of 9 things that we felt have helped our marriage to be what it is today.


So Enjoy


9 Tips to be able to say Happy Anniversary  after 9 years of Marriage

1. Learn to Love what the other person likes to do

Want to spend time with your spouse and stay connected? Get over yourself and learn to love their interests because you love them. This goes both ways.  That investment is worth it 100 fold!

2. Be Silly

There’s no better way to build a loving relationship with someone than to be able to laugh together. Seriously- I Dare You– Just randomly break out a silly dance or song when its just you and your spouse. I mean– You’re going to live with this person for a LONG time! So it’s important to be able to LAUGH together. Be comfortable enough with each other to just BE SILLY sometimes.

3. Celebrate

Life is a Gift. Everyday is a gift. Make it a point to celebrate life. Don’t let a birthday or anniversary go by without a celebration of some sort. You can CELEBRATE on any budget so there are no excuses. Don’t just celebrate the “Big Things” or the “Norms”. Celebrate in the everyday as well. Did your man pass a test? Bake him a cake for crying out loud! Did you meet a goal or milestone? Go out to dinner or just out for ice-cream. It’s important to be able to Celebrate Life together! It draws you closer and ties your heart strings together.

4. Don’t EVER let the thought “Is this going work?” cross your mind. Only think- “How am I going to make it work?”

Marriage is hard. Yet it is one of the most rewarding gifts in my life. It takes sacrificial love and selflessness. Never Ever make it an option to get out.

5. In the words of NIKE- Just. Do. It.

Enough said. This is pretty self explanatory. Make it a priority. It is a God Designed part of marriage.

6. Let your man Lead

I know. I’m probably going to receive some HATE mail for this one. But it’s the truth. Alright girls- lets face it. Most of us are independent, capable, and equipped to lead and get things done. But guess what? As a believer, when you said I Do. You submitted to God’s perfect design of marriage union– meaning that your man should be a leader. Don’t complain if he’s not. You married him. Make him a leader. Help him to be a leader. And for myself- Let him lead!! It is important that I get out of the way and don’t be pushy and bullheaded. I want a good, strong, man to be a leader. But he can’t be if I’m always in the way. Make it your priority to encourage him to lead. Compliment him. Trust him. Let him make mistakes. But always be his biggest fan and always be in his right corner. It does not make you a weak woman. It makes you a WISE, STRONG, and SMART woman.

7. Seek Adventures Together

Memories and companionship are worth more than any material thing. Relationship is built and grown by making new memories together. Make it happen.

8. Don’t bad mouth each other.

This is important. You 2 have become 1. Don’t bad mouth each other. It’s not worth it. I know the casual “joke” complaining is normal and natural. When my girlfriends and I get together there is always a laugh shared about how our men refuse to pick up their boxers or always drink out of the milk jug. But that is not bad mouthing. Bad mouthing is when you are intentionally tearing your man down and tainting his character and person hood to others. Don’t do it.

9. The Lord has to be your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY, Your STANDARD, AUTHORITY, and CENTER of your relationship.

God is awesome. He gave us his Word and laid it out for us how marriage should work. He instructed us on how to live. He gave us a character and decision making “How-To Guidebook”. Follow it. Make it your standard and authority.

So there ya go- our 9 tips from 9 years. Happy Anniversary!

9 year eating


What would you add to this list?

How many years have you been married?




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  1. Hi! Love your posts and love you guys! I would add to the list to remember those things that brought you two together, but realize that you are both still changing and growing so look to and prepare for your future together. Randy and I have been married 18 years and counting!

    • Amanda Farris says:

      Jessica!! That is a great point!!! Because– Thank Goodness I’m not the same 17 year old when Sam met me! lol lol Hope to see you soon!

  2. Congrats! We just celebrated our 9th anniversary as well. It’s been a great adventure.

    I love your point about submission. I was raised in a house where the whole ideal of a submissive wife was always used as a negative. A while back I was at a ladies retreat and really learned the biblical meaning of being a submissive wife. It changed my entire attitude and really made a difference in our marriage.

    • Hey Karen!
      Thanks so much for reading! You are EXACTLY correct!!! Most people overlook the true meaning of biblical submissiveness. They make it out to be something its not.— When in reality– God has our back 🙂 🙂

  3. See ya in a few weeks!!!

  4. Hi Amanda. Really appreciate this list. As a psychologist, I especially hear a lot about the very first one. People lose interest in what interests their partner. Maybe at first they feigned some kind of enjoyment (which might be a problem in the first place). But really being psyched about what your partner is passionate about is so important. And I totally agree that being silly – laughing – is vital. I personally don’t mix spiritual practices in with my psychology practice. It’s just a personal choice. But you speak of it clearly and well. And I am sure it will inspire the people who read your post!

  5. Thanks for stopping by bigpittstop, had to come over here and check out your space. These are great words. As a single girl, I appreciate learning from other’s relationships so I’m always a fan of saving these – think I’ll put it in my “pocket”!

  6. First off I would like to say excellent blog! I had a
    quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
    I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear
    your mind prior to writing. I have had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts
    out there. I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems
    like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost just trying
    to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints?



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