31 Days Intentional Friendship- Texting Etiquette


 Day 15- Texting Etiquette

So glad you are back to join us in our quest of 31 days of pursuing Intentional  Friendship!

Today we are going to be talking about texting etiquette.

Put down the phone and focus on your friends if you want Intentional Friendship.

Here recently I had two lunch dates scheduled in a week. Both were the possibilities of budding friendships. They weren’t history friends who I’d known forever but girls that our paths crossed regularly  enough to explore pursuing a more intentional friendship.

At the beginning of the week I met up with my friend for the first lunch date. I was so looking forward to talking to her 1 on 1. But, during our whole lunch date she kept….. you guessed it, checking her phone!

We would be talking and then all of a sudden she’d be looking down at her phone pushing buttons and texting, checking texts, or looking at something. GAH!

I don’t think she even saw it as a big deal. I was so distracted while talking to her. I’d be mid-sentence and then she’d look down and do something on her phone and then look up. I would stop my story so she could take care of whatever business she needed to take care of, but then when she would look back up I was so distracted I couldn’t even gather my thoughts together clearly because of all the phone distractions. (And she never said “Now what were you saying?” or  “Sorry about that”)

I left very disappointed and surprised at the whole phone thing.

Later in the week I had another lunch date with another acquaintance. I did not know this girl very well at all. This was going to be our first 1 on 1 outing. So you know how those first times go, there are so many pleasantries to exchange and all those get to know you questions to be asked.  As we were sitting there chatting, her phone would beep or ring. Do you know what she did? She didn’t even lose eye contact with me and turned the phone over. She was putting the priority on the person she was with face to face! I was shocked and surprised that somebody practiced such good manners and etiquette with someone they had just met.

Her actions of turning that phone over said to me – “I value you, our conversation and getting to know you better.”

Remember the days back before cell phones and all we had was call waiting on our land lines?


My mom would always tell me not to be rude when switching lines. Don’t leave someone on hold for very long. Don’t get off the phone with 1 friend just to talk to another. Don’t let the one “beeping” in take priority over the one you are talking to. Talk to the one you are talking to. Don’t be rude.

And we all know that cell phones, texting, and small screens often times take the priority over who you are with face to face.

I’d almost be bold enough to say that most people give priority to the people on their screens rather than the people they are with. It seems like most people feel it’s okay to just “text real quick” or “answer that quick call” when they are with their friends.

When did the screen person take precedence over who you are with?

Here are 5 texting etiquette rules for when you are with friends.

1. Don’t text  others or answer calls when you are with your friends. Put your phone down and away!

2. If you must answer a text or a call. Give your friends the heads up. Before you even start to hang out explain the situation. For example: “Hey girl, I’m expecting a call from_______ about________ that I really need to take if they call.”

That way your friend knows that something is going on and there is a chance that you might need to take a call.

3. If an unexpected call or text  comes up that you must take- give your friend a quick explanation. It is WAY rude to just pick up the phone and start talking or texting with someone when you are hanging out with a friend. When you get off the phone explain and apologize.

Example “Sorry about that, that was my husband so I really needed to answer it.

” I’m sorry, that was the babysitter calling and I needed to answer it.”

People understand when it comes to family matters. But it’s just rude not to give some kind of insight to why you just got on the phone. You don’t even have to explain it in detail, just apologize and explain that you really needed to take that call or text.

4. Ignore the phone. Yep, ignore it. Be where you are. Be with who you are with.

5. Be tactful. I know there are situations when you must take calls.  But for the most part there is not an emergency 24 hours a day. Be conscious of that and put effort into the face to face relationships of who you are around. Don’t text and chat about unimportant things when you are supposed to be hanging out face to face with your friends.



Don’t be rude. Be intentional. Value your friends and put

effort into building that relationship.

31 days to intentional friendship



And if you’ve missed any in the series: Click Here- 31 Days to Intentional Friendship

I’m also hanging out over at MYB talking about seeking adventures with your spouse for their 31 Days to a Better Marriage series.

What would you add to the texting etiquette list?


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  1. I will admit that I have been guilty of this in the past, but then one day someone did the same thing to me. It left me feeling unimportant and ignored. I decided that day I had to put down the phone when I’m with friends {especially one on one intentional friendship building}. Thanks for sharing, because I always need a reminder in case I forget!

    • Amanda Farris says:

      I agree girl! I actually find myself answering texts “real quick” in front of my kids too much instead of giving them the same attention they deserve as being there with me face to face. I have been working on purposely leaving my phone places so that I can’t hear the “ding” so that I can concentrate on the 3 little people who are right in front of me.


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